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Fri, 20 Jun 2008
What a month!
Trents done with 8th grade. He went to a graduation party at his school the 6th. Then the next day went to a party a girl was throwing. Got asked out by 3 girls and kissed all 3. Got hugs from the rest of the girls there. Went to a movie with 1 of the girls that asked him out and her older brother and some other people the next day. Has plans to go to the movies with her again tomorrow.

Ty is off to middle school in fall while Trent's off to high school. Ty's at summer school now and so far I like the school system here for him. I'm glad that they are able to work with him 1 on 1 and teach him skills he needs rather then all the academics he won't remember.

Both T&T went up north with their grandparents and had a good time. Trent got a bow for Christmas and arrows and other things for it for his birthday and so he was practing up north and lost 1 of the arrows in the woods. Hopefully while my fil is out walking he'll spot it as it's got bright orange on it. While they were gone. Chad and I were hoping for some adult time, but we really didn't get any because we are both sick and the twins didn't want to stay a sleep especially Eli.

Eli had to go the the ER on the 4th because he was running a 104 fever. By the time he was seen it was after midnight and his fever had gone done to around 102. So the dr ordered a strep test and sure enough he had it. Peyton ended up going to urgent care the 6th while Trent was at the party at his school. His test came back negative, but the dr gave him antibiotics anyway. Well its a good thing he did because that would have been till Monday for him to start antibiotics when the culture came back positive which it did. They are both healthy now, but Eli still won't stay asleep at night.

I'm doing so much better. I have lost 11 pounds so far and am determined to keep losing weight. Chad and I are going to wait till next year to try for anther one if we want to. I have a wedding to go to in August 2009 and I'd like to look as good as possible for the photos because its my foster brothers wedding and the last time I saw him was in July of 2006. He travels and is very busy. Heck my whole foster family are always busy.


Posted 09:14 
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Mon, 12 May 2008
I can't believe my feelings today!
I'm so angry at some women because they are still pg. We all found out with in days of each other and I'm so mad that their still pg and I'm not. i should be happy for them, but today I am so angry and upset! I hate feeling this way. I'm not this type of person. I just don't understand why God takes some children and lets others live. What is His plan for me!? Will I have another baby to hold? And Chad he's making it even harder on me because he tells me Saturday that he doesn't want another baby because the twins were crying and getting into everything while I was shopping with Trent. Then yesterday I told him that we could put the good crib downstairs and the 1 he broke when we moved here at the curb. He tells me we could use it for spare parts. I questioned him today about that. I said why would you want to save a broken crib for spare parts unless you know were going to use the crib again. He tells me we'll see. What does that mean? Either you do want another baby or you don't there is no we'll see! Ugh!

I hope every one had a great Mother's Day! We did here. Chad's parents came and brought Papa Murphy's take and bake taco pizzas. They were good except for all the tomatoes and olives on them. We also watched Apocolypto with them and talked a lot. We gave Annette some towels and hot pads and a curtain with roosters for her kitchen when its all done. They are getting windows put in and Jason is painting the living room. Then they are going to redo the kitchen and get new cabinets and flooring. So it should look very nice when its done.


Posted 12:44 
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Thu, 08 May 2008
Gardeners Please Help!
I have no idea to begin, but I thought it would be nice to start a memory garden in honor of the babies that I lost. I would like to have it be all flowers and have it so that there always some blooming from spring to fall. So if you could point me in the right direction I'd appreciate it! TIA!
Posted 15:13 
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Wed, 07 May 2008
Its been a week!
It feels like I'm going through it all over again. I have so many questions and I'm depressed and mad as hell. Also there are more and more of us. Just in the past few days there have been 15 different women who have m/c and a few more waiting to m/c. It's insane! I posted on a board that there's an epidemic going around because so many of us that were due in December have or are losing the babies. I just hope that when Chad and I do have another blessing that we don't m/c that one. I couldn't take it again. I have not been doing o well with this loss and it would be devastating to have it lost again. Whats weird is that yesterday I seemed to have accepted what happened but today I can't stop crying and wanting my baby back!
Posted 12:48 
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Tue, 06 May 2008
Some more sad news!
My mom is in a hospital in Milwakee with heart failre. My sister says that this is it. That she won't be here much longer. So I'll be driving to Milwaukee after Chad gets home to see here. Its so crazy all this stuff. I'm so glad that God did make me a strong person or i'd be so much worse.
Posted 08:51 
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